The Heat: See? Girls Can Be Funny Cops Too!

Two posts in two days? I know what you're thinking...

But I'm not gonna. Cuz I ALSO saw ANOTHER movie last week and didn't have the opportunity to write about it. It was a sneak peak from Philly Film Society so I want to take advantage of the fact that ya'll probably haven't seen it.

What movie, you ask?

See above.

Riding the tails of the crazy success that Bridesmaids was, this movie takes a crack at the buddy cop genre with the first buddy cop film to feature two female leads (feminism. hell yeah.).

Our plot follows two lady cops who couldn't be any more different (I know, who's ever heard of a movie with characters like those before??!). One, Sarah Ashburn (Bullock) is a special agent in the FBI who never misses the tiny details and has a reputation for being by-the-book, narcissistic, and a pain in the ass. Opposite her, in the dregs of Boston, we have Officer Shannon Mullins, a hellcat with no tolerance for opposition to the law or anything else that she finds annoying. Thrown together by several circumstances, they end up working together on a case to uncover a covert crime syndicate that has been taking over Boston's drug scene. Together, I've gotta admit...they make one hell of a hilarious team.

Boom baby.

This movie seems to be following predecessors that include The Other Guys  and 21 Jump Street and I really have to hand it to them: they've really found a hilarious formula here.  Mixing the absurd (Mullins at one point pantomimes going through her police chief's office looking for his "teeny tiny" balls) with a liiiiittle bit of compassion (scenes including Mullins's brother who was formerly in a drug ring, and Ashburn's total cluelessness when it comes to being not-weird), this movie was nothing if not 100% entertaining.

I think this picture says it all.

The true star here is Melissa McCarthy. Her ad-libbing skills are unmatchable. The character that everyone found so funny in Bridesmaids is exacerbated in this, made more badass and totally ruthless. With all of her insults she is so incredibly sharp that it's hard to take your eyes off of her comedic genius. Bullock is her usually quirky funny self, a mixture of Miss Congeniality's Gracie Hart and Two Weeks Notice's awkward turtle, Lucy Kelson. Incredibly, she still manages to hold her own, but as more of a sidekick to McCarthy's brash character.

Please go see this movie. Omg. It was so funny. Never has there been more loling.

9 outa 10. Pure entertainment.

Just watch the trailer even. I promise, it's hilarious.

The Purge (Bleeehh)

Haha, okay, cheesy joke, but we were making it throughout the previews and all day today so now it's become associative. Yes, I saw the latest futuristic dystopian doodad in theaters and here's what I have to say:

hmmm

As an avid reader of graphic novels and comics (shut up.) I gotta say I wish that they had simply made a graphic novel, comic series, or even TV series about this idea. It has so much potential and I feel like it got marketed wrong and just kind of...missed the mark. And when it could've been really interesting too!

For those of you that haven't seen the trailers, the film is about The United States, recently "reborn" by some new founding fathers. In this new "utopia" (-cough-DYSTOPIA-cough-), unemployment is at an all-time low, along with murder and other crime. The reason? The Annual Purge. The Annual Purge is a day that allows people to release aggression and animosity by murdering people, looting, and participating in all kinds of crime while the government turns a blind eye for a full twelve hours. Great idea right? Just like communism!

It could totally work! Y'know, as long as you totally ignore

human nature and morals and rights...it's a GREAT idea!

SO in the backdrop of this day in 2022, the day of the annual Purge, we have a family of four in the upper-class suburbs. The Sandins are a regular ole family, the dad sells security systems, the mom is a housewife (I think...), the daughter is an overachiever with boyfriend problems, and the son is a sensitive gizmo-freak. Normal, perfectly normal. And in the normality of every year beforehand, they shut themselves into their own home and lock down for twelve hours while the purge happens outside.

I'm about 30% sure you can't get in here...

That is, until they let a fugitive into their home and all hell breaks loose. During a commotion that occurs when the man is let inside, the family breaks apart (in more ways than one) and is set into a sequence of events that could damage the family forever. Visited by some psychotic twenty-somethings after the man inside (for apparently no other reason than the fact that he is homeless) they are given the opportunity to turn the man over. But after they lose their window they are invaded by this group of weirdos and must defend themselves alone. Interesting plot twists keep you on your toes, even until the end.

So, let's get down to brass tacks: did I like the movie?

What I liked about this film is the fact that they thought up this idea at all. How often in politics are people convinced that something is GENIUS when, in practice, it ruins most of the beauty of humanity (again, communism: great on paper, horrible in practice)? The "new founding fathers"have introduced a principle that everyone has thought of at least once in their lives, even fleetingly, and gives them the chance to carry it out without repercussions. The people in the film seem to use this principle as a right, making it all the more horrifying. Neighbors openly sharpen machetes, security cameras pick up friends in camo with machine guns "going out hunting" and yet nothing is to be done about it. Because it is legal, people don't seem to put up a fight against the moral fabric of killing someone. The rich, especially are highlighted in this movie as taking the opportunity that the Purge offers to clear riffraff off the street, such as the homeless, the poor, and people that would be the most defenseless when push came to shove.

Like this homeless guy

The movie therefore gives an interesting perspective (from the rich) when they are faced with the possibility of saving a man on the basis of the fact that he's human, and not on his economical status. In that sense, the movie is a great commentary on classism and government.

What I DIDN'T like about this film is the limited way that they play with this crazy idea. For a theory this big, you could've brought in SO many different elements. I would've loved to see a multiple-storyline film with one person in the ghettos, one cop, one rich family (such as the Sandins), and one other grab-bag character. That would've been CRAAYYY. Or even a storyline that goes outside the house. One of the things that makes the plot so crazy is the fact that you have no one to call for help except your neighbors. And yet, limiting a family to a house with no way out is something that you see in horror films ALL THE TIME. When a Stranger Calls, Panic Room, Cabin in the Woods, Evil Dead (-shudder-). Literally, ALL. KINDS. of movies use broken phone lines, absent cell signals, and downed power to make it seem like there's no way out. So I feel like it could've been a little scarier if they had gone outside the house.

We have no power, so we can't call the cops---oh wait, irrelevant...

The other thing that seemed to piss off a certain someone that I saw the movie with was the fact that it was not scary. This movie has been marketed as though it's a ripoff of The Strangers, or other scary serial-killer movies that have people sporting masks in them. These kids, however, are amateurs. And for all their creepy swinging in swings, they are no match for a double-barreled shotgun.

Seriously, if you block off their masks, it's just a bunch of yuppies

doing some night time house repairs.

I had a lot of feelings about this movie, but my top feeling is frustration that they didn't do more with this idea. I think it still would make an excellent comic series, but as a two-hour movie it somehow doesn't go into the depth needed for such a controversial topic.

Eh, 6 outa 10.

The Miracle of Sound and How So Many People are Butchering It

Ok. Just because I have my own blog about film, let me take the time to rant you dear readers about something that has been driving me CRAZY lately:

UN. SYNCHRONIZED. SOUND.

Now, if I were the head of a film company that was churning out movie after movie after movie every year, perhaps I would lose a little respect for the details. Just like MacDonald's will never serve the kinds of burgers that you get at a steakhouse for $50+ it's stupid to point out mistakes in cheap movies. People just don't care.

But seeing stupid flaws like blatantly unsynchronized sound in movies like The Great Gatsby (which I never got around to writing a review for...woops!) and even more recently Now You See Me, just pisses me off. It's like the equivalent of finding something crunchy in your $50+ burger, and not being able to help but spend the rest of the meal chewing cautiously for fear of finding another one.

Do people really not see this? Am I being over-the-top by noticing these little cracks in perfect films? Because it really is something that cheapens the final product to me. Something that didn't quite get polished over and therefore dulls the quality of the movie.

Just wanted to get that rant out there.

Also, here is a lesson in the importance of sound:

Now You See Me: Magic Isn't for Nerds Anymore

Hello my little darling readers. If you thought that some terrifying movie called Evil Dead really got the best of me and that I had started watching movies unable to fight the flashback horror of creepy armless girls and weird blood-rain, you were horribly mistaken. I have simply been on hiatus. However, I am back to write you the very best and hopefully entertaining of reviews, although I probably won't be up to the same velocity as I was in my prime (what was that, like, four a month or something?), I will try my best to write one a month. It could be more than that but, funnily enough, I finally got a job that takes up the majority of my time. Take that, Recession!

According to Google, this is what a recession looks like...

ANYWAY! The reason that you all came here: to read about Now You See Me. Like you, probably, I saw this trailer on TV and I thought "Wow! This looks like Ocean's Eleven and Burt Wonderstone [did anyone else see that? no?] had an attractive baby!" There was no question that I had to see this movie right away.

So, this movie starts out by highlighting the talents of four magicians. Yup, magicians. But these aren't the people that showed up at your grade-school birthday party.

Wait..was that ever actually a thing?

These guys are legit. A mentalist, a pick-pocket, and two ex-partner illusionists who band together to create the biggest magic tricks of all time. And when they, out of nowhere, start this huge show on the Vegas stage, things get wild. Robbing a bank and humiliating an insurance mogul, among other things, they get in trouble with the FBI, who then are after them for the duration of the movie. Hunting them at each show, they only seem to be met with failure at the precautions that these magic performers have in place. With these guys, things are never as they appear, and anything that seems to happen out of nowhere only adds to the intrigue of what their ultimate motive actually is.

Why you do dese crazy tricks, magic people?

What makes this movie so cool is that it's sort of like the nerds are finally coming out on top. Like who has ever known a magician at all, let alone one that is cool? But this movie points out that in order to be a magician, one has to be incredibly clever and forward-thinking. It's not about mirrors and smoke, but about careful planning and ultimate payoff.

And bubbles. It's also about bubbles.

It also conveys an incredibly satisfying feeling that justice is finally being served to the everyman. While corporate banks, insurance CEOs, and even the police have impressive power in our country, they are taken down by carefully planned illusions and tricks to benefit middle class citizens. Not your average illusions and tricks either. (Unfortunately, the preview gives away most of the cool ones, but it doesn't make their effects any less dazzling.) It was even cooler to witness a magic show where the audience in the movie theatre were freaking out just as much as the audience on screen. SO many twists and turns in this flick will make it impossible for you to predict the crazy plot-twist ending.

Spoiler alert: the rabbit is behind the mirror in the box.

This film ended up being like a classic action movie with a twist. I've gotten tired of seeing all these buff dudes trying to save The White House, FBI agents going after serial killers, and super hero flicks. Yes, I'm sure they're all very lovely, nothing is wrong with any of those genres, but I feel like Hollywood has gotten so caught up in formulas for hits that they seldom reach for anything just plain interesting anymore. This movie really delivers something a little more like a dependable action movie from the 90's. It has the flavor of an espionage film without all the red tape, and the ethical backbone of a moody drama without all the boring long takes and sad music. Actually, come to think of it, you know what made this movie so great?

It entertained.

The audience was laughing and sympathizing and reacting to all of the tricks on screen, they appreciated the dialogue, and they freaked out with every plot twist. A full audience nonetheless and that, these days, is rare.

Looked just like this. Mostly.

All in all, despite being a small release (the theater I went to only had one theater showing Now You See Me, while The Hangover 3 had an astounding three theaters all its own), this is definitely a flick that I would recommend seeing. Good, old-fashioned fun and great performances by Jesse Eisenburg, Isla Fisher, Woody Harrelson, Mark Ruffalo, Dave Franco, and Melanie Laurent. Go see it, it's good.

8 outa 10 stars.

Evil Dead: This Movie Gave Me PTSD.

If any of you have seen the original Evil Dead, odds are that you weren't that scared. Obviously the movie is a cult classic, but there are so many cheesy elements to it. The acting's not that great (though I feel like Bruce Campbell is half the reason it got popular), the camera angles are a little dated, and the special effects (for the audiences of today anyway) are obviously pretty fake. Fast forward a few decades and you have Evil Dead, the remake. And holy crap. Is it terrifying. I'm pretty sure I didn't calm down until I got home and had a gin and tonic.

What my face looked like for an hour and a half.

The movie starts out with a group of friends gathering at an isolated cabin that used to be their summer getaway. The friends consist of Mia and her brother, David, his girlfriend, and their two childhood best friends, Olivia and Eric. As it turns out, they have gathered there to help Mia through a hard drug detox and refuse to leave until she's recovered. As they enter their old house, though, it's clear that someone has broken in. In their basement they find carcasses of dead cats hanging from the ceiling and a book wrapped in a trash bag and closed shut with barbed wire.

Probably not gonna see this one in Barnes and Noble.

After Eric takes the book in secret and utters an evil passage, he unknowingly unleashes a demon on Mia that turns her into a monster and puts all of their lives at risk. An all-out gore-fest ensues, including a nail gun fight, a girl cutting out a chunk of her cheek with a chunk of broken glass, someone chopping their own arm off, and of course we all knew there was going to be a chainsaw (shout-out to the original fans).

For a scary movie I thought that they did a pretty good job on plot. Even though the one glaring flaw would be why you would want to open a book entwined with barbed wire in a room full of dead cats, I realize of course that there are always these questions in horror movies. Without conflict the plot wouldn't move on, blah blah blah.

Obviously you should read this book.

But other than that, I thought it was cool that they give you a reason for major plot points. Like with most scary movies you're always asking "WHY WOULD YOU STAY THERE?" but since the friends are prepared to bear down on Mia, it makes sense that they don't want to leave right away. Also the fact that she's going through detox at first explains some of her weird behavior. The friends (with the exception of Eric, who is suspicious that he may have risen a demon) don't see the evil coming until some inexplicable stuff starts happening.

Like this.

The thing that makes this movie really horrifying, though, are the special effects. Instead of going the easy route and taking advantage of the widely popular CGI effects, Fede Alvarez decided to use in-camera special effects instead. The resultant bloodbath is insane. It's hard to keep reminding yourself "It's not real it's not real it's not real it's not real" in this one, that's for sure. Also, don't expect to catch any breaks from being tense throughout this film. Once it starts, it doesn't stop until the very end.

Really freakin' scary. 7 outa 10 (which is pretty good for a scary movie).


Also, ye be warned, this is a graphic trailer. Not for the weak of stomach.

Oz: The Kind-of-Great and Not-Very Powerful

So since it is night time and I have made the fatal mistake of treating my caffeine-sensitive body to a cappuccino*, I'm going to burn some of this energy off by indulging you all with the fascinating review of my most recent cinematic adventure seeing Oz: The Great and Powerful.

Let me preface this review with the fact that unlike most other cinephiles, I have never been particularly attracted to The Wizard of Oz. Great movie? Sure. Do I see anything markably awesome about it? Ehhhh...not really. 1939 was a magical year for cinema and had I been around at the time to hear the Oscars on the radio I'm almost certain that I would have voted for Gone With the Wind over The Wizard of Oz. That being said (and hopefully I haven't lost half of my followers by admitting this outright), I'm going to proceed with how my lukewarm opinions about the original film affected my thoughts about the prequel.

The story begins with a fair in 1905. Oscar, Oz for short (played by James Franco), is a magician and has developed a career based on illusion. Tricking his audience is how he makes his living and isn't bad at using it to pick up chicks either. Actually, this is what seems to get him into trouble. After getting chased by someone who appears to be a strong man, Oz escapes by jumping into a hot air balloon and (he is apparently not the brightest) cutting the tether right in the middle of a tornado. Oops!

"Hmm...really did not think that one through..."

After fainting (or floating into the clouds...I forget what the transition was there...), Oz finds himself in a land called by his own name. He is met immediately by the beautiful and timid Theodora, who is amazed and joyous at finding the prophetic "wizard." Seeing an opportunity to whisk a young lady off her feet, Oz plays along with the notion that he is indeed the wizard of Oz (see what I did there?). Wooing her with the same tired tricks that he won ladies back home with, Oz unintentionally tricks the young Theodora into falling in love with him. After reaching The Emerald City and meeting Theodora's suspicious-looking sister, he is armed with the task of proving himself as wizard by destroying The Wicked Witch (who ends up being Glinda, the good witch). Of course, after figuring out who is the real wicked witch, he decides to side with Glinda. Forgetting about the naive Theodora, he teams up with Glinda to lead her people into battle, a decision which sets into motion a string of events that lead up to the original film, The Wizard of Oz.

So...the exposition is a little complex in this movie and I don't want to give too much away. Suffice it to say that those of you who thought that this film would be based more along the lines of the infamous musical Wicked are going to be in for a little disorientation.

Warning: the following contains semi-spoilers depending on how much you want to know. Scroll down until the green lettering if you want to skip this bit and get on with my full review.

The movie is based on the first book in the original book series by L. Frank Baum and is actually kind of sad. Instead of Elfeba (or however the hell you spell that name), who (if memory serves me) is markedly green throughout her entire life, Theodora takes on the appearance after being jilted by Jackass McGee Oz. Losing faith that he is the real wizard and looking for an escape from her pain, she enlists her sister, Evanora, to help her. Evanora, of course, is the real Wicked Witch and makes the horrible mistake of underestimating Theodora's dark side. What ends up happening is that Theodora, once hopeful and searching for peace, is turned into a green, hook-nosed monstrosity of downright rage. Kind of a sad metaphor for anyone who has ever been seriously let down.

Fortunately, most people do not have to deal with

the physically green result of having a horrible soul.

OKAY, GUYS IT'S SAFE TO KEEP READING BELOW

Unfortunately, at least from my own view, this movie is left to deal with the Oz-fanatics of the pre-special-effects, pre-complex-movie era and it sort of limits how far they can go with certain things. The notorious Witch of the West character, for example, had to be kept green with a hooked nose and pointy chin. This kind of makes sense at the end, but I feel like in our day and age, someone deceivingly beautiful is far more terrifying (and easier to look at) than the almost comical frump that ends up on screen. And it's not like they don't try to sexy her up a little. Instead of the loose, shapeless black dress, she wears leather leggings and a corset top. However, that trademark cackle doesn't really seem to fit this Wicked Witch, and thus her character seems a little...off.

Right? She just seems stuck between sexy and hideous 

and it makes me very confused.

All in all, I kind of had the same problems with everything else. The movie, which could've done some amazing things with the original book, is kind of limited in trying to mollify the original Wizard of Oz movie fans. Laden with references to the original film (the flying monkey almost gets eaten by a lion, they use a bunch of scarecrows at one point, Oz's high school sweetheart is named Emmie, etc.), the movie seems unsure of how to proceed without making use of its cult following. The result seems to be that they don't create anything incredibly creative (which is a serious bummer considering how much you could play with the literary world of Oz). It kind of ends up being a little obsolete, with overly simplified characters and a plot that seems to drag a little.

The one thing that I did enjoy about the movie was how much they play with special effects. Much like Avatar and movies since that have dealt with vibrant other-worlds, it's a dazzling world of color and it's mesmerizing that way. The coolest thing that I saw was the character of the China Doll, who is created flawlessly.

Cray.

All in all, was Oz a bad movie? No. Was I terribly impressed? Eh, not really. This may, however, be due to my ambivalence at the first movie though, as my boyfriend's mom is a die-hard Wizard of Oz fan and she seemed pretty pleased with having more of her favorite story being put in front of her.

All said and done, I'd give it a 6 outa 10.





*WARNGNI: This post may include some caffeine-induced, jittery-fingered typos. Enjyo!

Side Effects: An Unexpected Surprise

When I saw the preview for Side Effects, I was like "Oh great. Another politic-heavy thriller in which someone dies and there's a sex scandal and blah blah blah boooooriiiing." However, after Oscars week (which I actually watched this year, thankyouverymuch) I was feeling particularly artsy fartsy and decided to give this on a whirl. (It was between Side Effects and the decidedly less moody Hansel and Gretel, so I had to be a snob and pick the less action-y one.)

So roomie and I arrived armed with Wawa candy and a free small popcorn (loyalty cards, guys, I'm telling you!), ready to settle into a cinematic drammer. Only here's the thing: this was no simple cut-and-dry boring drama. This movie is a humongous mystery that will mess with you throughout its entirety. Here's our plot:

Martin (Charming Tatum) and Emily (Rooney Mara) are a couple in dire straits. Though they had years of luxury living, Martin has just gotten out of jail after serving four years for insider trading. Emily visited him every visitor's day and held their lives together by working at a publishing firm. As a result of her diminished income, they had to move from the lush WASPy Connecticut home that they previously owned, into a one-bedroom apartment in the city. Emily is having issues adjusting to this. Not long after she and her husband are reunited, Emily makes an attempt on her life by driving her car into a wall. At the hospital she sees a psychiatrist Dr. Banks (Jude Law) who recommends her seeing him a few times a week so he can treat her for depression.

This is what depression looks like.

Here's where it gets interesting.

Dr. Banks prescribes her a number of different medications used for treating depression, all to no avail. At the recommendation of Emily's previous psychiatrist (Catherine Zeta-Jones), she starts a pill called Ablixa. While everything seems to be working out fantastically with this new pill, a minor side effect is that Emily has stints of sleepwalking. Outweighing the risks, Emily and Martin decide to keep her on it. All seems to be going fine...until Emily stabs her husband to death while sleepwalking.

The repercussions of the court trial have an enormous effect on Dr. Banks's career. Because of this, he sinks into an obsession with the case, and little by little uncovers the mystery that surrounds Martin's death, which may be a little more complicated than it seems.

Where'd my career go?

So wow, a really incredible movie that actually surprised me. I walked in expecting a moody drama and I ended up walking out saying "Wow...wow." (And I usually hate Jude Law.) The intrigue is fascinating as the politics of using medications for depression are examined, as are the repercussions for a psychiatric doctor facing a murder trial for one of his patient's medicated actions, and the law in cases such as this. The movie is set up as a giant puzzle, which they move through bit by bit as the picture becomes more and more clear as to what really happened.

I'm a little hesitant to write any more about the plot because I think everyone should just go and see it and find out what an awesome mystery it is. It isn't heavy and dramatic like a French drama, I swear! And the payoff at the end will have you saying:

The camera work in this was really interesting as well. The bulk of the close-ups begin in a soft focus and then sharpen to hone in on the characters' facial expressions, bringing to mind the fogginess of depression and also of facts becoming clear. Also the clean, modern apartments and the modern architecture of the film give it an edge that seems to harken to movies like The Bourne Identity. Keeps it really clean. And really almost clinical, come to think of it.

8.5 outa 10. I really loved this movie; never have I been so surprised.

Also, don't be fooled by Channing Tatum being all up in the trailer. He's only in about a quarter of the movie.

Also also, if Dr. Banks's wife looks familiar, it's because she played Allison in Hocus Pocus. Yeah.