Lucy: Because She Got High.

Memorable quote upon leaving the theater: "I thought that bitch had superpowers--she was just high!"

And there you have it, folks.

But really, Lucy ended up being a pretty decent movie, ableit not the mind-blowing Matrix throwback I was hoping for.

Lemme essplain.

The plot revolves around young Lucy, a (grad?) student who is living in Taipei for some reason. We immediately kick off with her boyfriend asking her to deliver a package to the front desk of a hotel. She declines. He makes her. She ends up getting enrolled in a sick drug lord's scheme to be a mule for some new drug. After accidentally getting beaten up in transit, the drug begins to leak--and Lucy goes whack. We find out, after she gets the pouch removed from her lower stomach, that the drug is a synthetic form of a substance that mothers produce when they're pregnant. The hormone/chemical/whatever enables your brain to prep itself to learn all of the rudimentary tasks that you acquire as an infant. And Lucy's packing a good amount larger than the average. Consequently, she gets the gift of using a "higher capacity of her brain" than the rest of us do, and learns some insane tricks (please see: suspending humans in midair, putting crowds to sleep, time traveling, literally falling apart, and more!).

nbd, everyone can do that..

When I saw the premise for this movie I thought it looked crazy cool. Scarlett Johansson has more than earned her acting chops as a badass playing Black Widow in The Avengers, and I was intrigued to see which route they would end up taking with the whole concept itself. But what you get amped up for in the beginning tapers off as the movie plays, and it ends up being a little lackluster by the end.

First half of this film was totally on point. Interesting choices made with the editing sucked me in right off the bat. As Lucy talks to her boyfriend, her responses are intercut with stock film images of wildlife hunting, being entrapped, and generally being in danger. The cuts also give us some information about Lucy's beau and their partying habits. Interesting direction for a mass-audience studio film, and it was refreshing to see some playfulness in editing for a genre that is usually pretty one-note.

The whole beginning half, actually, draws you in because you don't know what to expect. Even immediately after the drugs take effect in her system and Lucy is semi-robotic, we see her making decisions with 20% of her brain that we usually only get to see in assassin flicks. And it's cool!

Girl on a mission.

The problem with the second half is just a matter of jumbliness. The drug lord is trying to hunt Lucy down, Lucy's trying to give info to these scientists, she befriends a French cop that we become momentarily invested in, and then we get to see a brief history of time itself. What I went in expecting was to see a bunch of crazy-cool things that she'd be able to do with a large portion of her brain. But with the way the movie plays, she ends up being so much bigger than humanity itself, that the plotline that we're all focusing on (the drug lord one), gets lost in Lucy's existential fog.

Basically, the main thing keeping you awake in the second half is simply wondering what happens when she reaches 100% of her brain's capacity (and by that point--I mean, good Lord, she can do a whole lot).

Like seeing cellular signals and weaving through them

like the air is a giant iPad screen.

I would've liked to see this one's beginning stretch a little more and have her doing much less transcendental nonsense by the end. If we can't comprehend it, then why are you showing it to us? I rest my case.

6.5 outa 10. Not half as crazy-awesome as I'd thought it would be, but I thoroughly enjoyed the first half. Good acting from Scarlett Johansson as well!

**EDIT** Also, it must be said, there is no evidence to support the claim that humans only use 10% of our mental capacity. That is all.

The LEGO Movie: A Chuckle-Fest

Ah, the second movie I've seen in a month...and it's another kids' movie.

Don't you judge me.

That being said, The LEGO Movie was exactly what I was hoping it would be: a tongue-in-cheek comedy for both kids and adults. The entire time I was watching it, I kept thinking about how much it reminded me of another recent kids' movie that is near and dear to my heart: Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. Star-studded voice talents, ridiculous humor, kid-mindedness, and so many giggles - I loved it!

Ahh! Run! It's Lord Business!

The movie starts out with Lord Business (voiced by Will Ferrell) stealing the all-powerful weapon known as "The Kraggle" and a prophecy made by Vitruvius (voiced by Morgan Freeman) that there will be a man who can stop the Kraggle with the "piece of resistance" who will be the most special, most interesting, and most powerful Master Builder of all. Cut to LEGO Land, where our man, Emmett Brickowoski (voiced by Chris Pratt) follows daily instructions on what to do, how to stay happy, and basically who to be -- until he stumbles upon the "piece of resistance." He then finds himself implicated in a race to stop Lord/President Business from using the Kraggle (you're going to die when you find out what it actually is) to freeze the entire city.

Behold. The piece of resistance.

I really liked this movie. And it's not just my affinity for stop-motion movies (although, to be honest, that helped - yay stop-motion movies!). It's got a clever and interesting plot, a great commentary on the importance of being different, and a metric TON of familiar Lego figures, including (but not limited to) Batman, Superman, Dumbledore, Gandalf (who have a hilarious bit, I might add..), Random 80s Space Guy, Abraham Lincoln, C-3PO, Shakespeare, and a lot of others. Between pop culture references, goofs, and renamed objects that have entered their world ("Bring me the po-leesh ray-move-air of nai-eel!") this movie is solid gold.

*Disclaimer: this movie is not actually made of solid gold.

The fact that it is entirely made up of actual Legos cannot be overlooked either. (Can't imagine how much time pre-production took...) Additionally, the plot point about "Master Builders," who can imagine up different things to make totally on the spot, vs. those like Emmett who just follow the instructions, is a great commentary on how kids actually play with Legos, and ends up basically qualifying both methods.

Totally ridiculous, yet well put together, I would highly recommend The LEGO Movie. Full-on chuckle-fest. I don't think there was a span of more than 5 minutes that I wasn't laughing the whole thing through.

8 outa 10.

I am ashamed to be adding a link here instead of imbedding the actual video, but Warner Brothers is stupid and won't allow embedding. Dumb Warner Brothers. 

Now You See Me: Magic Isn't for Nerds Anymore

Hello my little darling readers. If you thought that some terrifying movie called Evil Dead really got the best of me and that I had started watching movies unable to fight the flashback horror of creepy armless girls and weird blood-rain, you were horribly mistaken. I have simply been on hiatus. However, I am back to write you the very best and hopefully entertaining of reviews, although I probably won't be up to the same velocity as I was in my prime (what was that, like, four a month or something?), I will try my best to write one a month. It could be more than that but, funnily enough, I finally got a job that takes up the majority of my time. Take that, Recession!

According to Google, this is what a recession looks like...

ANYWAY! The reason that you all came here: to read about Now You See Me. Like you, probably, I saw this trailer on TV and I thought "Wow! This looks like Ocean's Eleven and Burt Wonderstone [did anyone else see that? no?] had an attractive baby!" There was no question that I had to see this movie right away.

So, this movie starts out by highlighting the talents of four magicians. Yup, magicians. But these aren't the people that showed up at your grade-school birthday party.

Wait..was that ever actually a thing?

These guys are legit. A mentalist, a pick-pocket, and two ex-partner illusionists who band together to create the biggest magic tricks of all time. And when they, out of nowhere, start this huge show on the Vegas stage, things get wild. Robbing a bank and humiliating an insurance mogul, among other things, they get in trouble with the FBI, who then are after them for the duration of the movie. Hunting them at each show, they only seem to be met with failure at the precautions that these magic performers have in place. With these guys, things are never as they appear, and anything that seems to happen out of nowhere only adds to the intrigue of what their ultimate motive actually is.

Why you do dese crazy tricks, magic people?

What makes this movie so cool is that it's sort of like the nerds are finally coming out on top. Like who has ever known a magician at all, let alone one that is cool? But this movie points out that in order to be a magician, one has to be incredibly clever and forward-thinking. It's not about mirrors and smoke, but about careful planning and ultimate payoff.

And bubbles. It's also about bubbles.

It also conveys an incredibly satisfying feeling that justice is finally being served to the everyman. While corporate banks, insurance CEOs, and even the police have impressive power in our country, they are taken down by carefully planned illusions and tricks to benefit middle class citizens. Not your average illusions and tricks either. (Unfortunately, the preview gives away most of the cool ones, but it doesn't make their effects any less dazzling.) It was even cooler to witness a magic show where the audience in the movie theatre were freaking out just as much as the audience on screen. SO many twists and turns in this flick will make it impossible for you to predict the crazy plot-twist ending.

Spoiler alert: the rabbit is behind the mirror in the box.

This film ended up being like a classic action movie with a twist. I've gotten tired of seeing all these buff dudes trying to save The White House, FBI agents going after serial killers, and super hero flicks. Yes, I'm sure they're all very lovely, nothing is wrong with any of those genres, but I feel like Hollywood has gotten so caught up in formulas for hits that they seldom reach for anything just plain interesting anymore. This movie really delivers something a little more like a dependable action movie from the 90's. It has the flavor of an espionage film without all the red tape, and the ethical backbone of a moody drama without all the boring long takes and sad music. Actually, come to think of it, you know what made this movie so great?

It entertained.

The audience was laughing and sympathizing and reacting to all of the tricks on screen, they appreciated the dialogue, and they freaked out with every plot twist. A full audience nonetheless and that, these days, is rare.

Looked just like this. Mostly.

All in all, despite being a small release (the theater I went to only had one theater showing Now You See Me, while The Hangover 3 had an astounding three theaters all its own), this is definitely a flick that I would recommend seeing. Good, old-fashioned fun and great performances by Jesse Eisenburg, Isla Fisher, Woody Harrelson, Mark Ruffalo, Dave Franco, and Melanie Laurent. Go see it, it's good.

8 outa 10 stars.