The Witch: Well Done, Different, and Horrifying

I haven't seen a horror movie this well-made, or this depressing, in a very long time. Honestly, when I saw the trailer, I thought it was going to be a lofty, artsy kind of horror, more along the lines of It Follows (which I wasn't very fond of) than The Conjuring (which I loooooved). But I got the pleasant surprise of discovering that it's sort of a mishmash of traditional horror and something a bit more artistic.

"Dear Lord, lmk if my daughter's a witch, kthanksamen."

Here's our plot:

The movie starts off by showing us a family leaving their home at a colonial plantation. There's a mother, a father, two girls, and three boys. After making a home for themselves in a random field, things are not going in their favor. The corn crop is no good and they're having trouble trapping animals for meat. Soon after these things come in succession, the family's eldest daughter, Thomasin, is playing with her baby brother outside, when suddenly he's gone, disappeared. While this is viewed as a strange tragedy, and one that the mother never seems to recover from, the family can never find closure on what actually happened to him. Then stranger things start to happen. Caleb, the second oldest child, gets lost in the woods, and the parents are distraught. With one coincidence piled on top of the other, the idea crops up whether they have a witch on their hands causing them all of this pain and suffering. The film then speculates whether the family will believe the truth on faith alone.

Can you handle it? I pose that you cannot.

What I really loved about this film is that it's so original. We often see horror movies where people get killed off and you're left to sit there wondering who the murderer is, but rarely is there a well-made horror film in which the characters seriously accuse one of their own of being possessed. And the isolation of the family makes the film even more dreadfully horrifying. With no one to bear witness to what's happening besides themselves, and with a zealous faith that defies reason, it's a breeding ground for paranoia.

WARNING: SPOILERS. SPOILERS EVERYWHERE.

The other amazing thing about this movie -- which I wasn't expecting -- is that there is an actual witch. I feel like so often anymore, it's an infuriating habit for films to be like "Idk, WAS she a witch? I leave that to interpretation." That drives me insane. Was she or wasn't she. I don't want to have to read through a 30-page analysis of your film before I learn that it was about the gas crisis in the 1970s and not about witches at all. Yes. There is a real witch in this. And the film makes it a point to show her early-on so that we have no doubt as to the foul play. But it also takes careful time to make sure that you can see how the family would think Thomasin is a witch, too. And that's what makes it good. Thomasin isn't crazy religious, she is so unfortunately present when each tragedy strikes, and messing with her siblings really comes back to bite her in the ass. But the question lingers in the back of our minds how the movie will end. Is she really a witch after all? That duality plays out so incredibly well. It's impressive.

"God, srsly, is Thomasin a witch or what."

Actually, this movie ended up reminding me a lot of The Shining, where you have a family in an isolated situation that could tempt insanity, but where evil is also very clearly present. Would the family accuse their eldest daughter of being a witch if they were back in England? Is there a spell over the woods too? The soundtrack seems to suggest so! (Side note: the soundtrack and a bunch of other shots seriously reminded me of The Shining as well, maybe it's an homage.)

OKAY WE'RE DONE WITH THE SPOILERS.

The only bummer of this movie is that it's so damn depressing. Colonial times were rough enough without having to wonder whether your kids were possessed by the devil. And it's not like there were any psychiatrists around to talk you down when one of your kids went mysteriously missing. The movie is incredibly bleak, but because of this the scares really do scare a bit more effectively than they might've otherwise.

Set-wise this was also very different. The last colonial horror movie I remember seeing is An American Haunting, and the setting alone makes things incredibly creepy. Makes evil seem so ancient and unconquerable compared to slasher or supernatural films that are set today. At least we can call a priest when we need him!

8.5 outa 10. Incredibly creepy -- and this movie doesn't rely on cheap jumps, it messes with your head.

Deadpool: The Superhero Flick We Didn't Know We Needed

Remember when Guardians of the Galaxy came out? What a time to be alive, right? A superhero movie starring Chris Pratt that was super self aware, wasn't afraid to make fun of itself and its genre and was just good, old-fashioned, self-depricating humor.

Well then Deadpool comes along.

And while Guardians of the Galaxy is your new-wave family comedy, Deadpool is the adult comedy that we've all been waiting for.

Hi, I'm here to make super hero movies bearable for people your age.

Deadpool follows Wade Wilson, a (sort of?) hit man who now begrudgingly helps the weak. But he's no little bitch (his words, I'm sure, not mine). Life seems to be going pretty well for Wade, especially after he picks up a hot chick at a strip club and they discover that they're soul mates. There's one bummer though: Wade gets cancer. No, this is not a Fault in Our Stars scenario. In fact, Wade tries to think of ways to dodge this illness and comes up empty, until he's approached by a government man who says that he can cure him by causing his body to mutate. (Side note: this story takes place in the X-Men universe, so mutants are a thing.) After abandoning his girlfriend until he can cure himself, Wade goes through an excruciating process that's meant to pump his mutant genes into action. Needless to say, there's a nefarious head doctor. He ends up torturing Wade to the point that he gains insane healing powers, but at the cost of his dashing good looks. Wade then makes it his mission to seek his revenge on the doctor to get his looks back to normal, and ultimately marry the girl of his dreams.

But will he do it!?

So that's the plot, but I feel like I'm not doing justice to the tone of this movie.

It's like Ryan Reynolds was born to play Deadpool. The character is such a smart-ass, hilarious, lewd guy, and that is totally unexpected from most of the super hero movies that we're used to. Not to say that we don't get quips from Iron Man and or that most of the superhero movies that we've seen lately haven't stepped their game up in poking fun of the genre, but this takes it to a whole new level. Deadpool slays any expectation that the audience would've had at seeing a decent, upstanding citizen on the screen -- and the audience has been more than happy to root for an anti-hero that isn't plagued by alcoholism or inner demons or other things that bring down the mood (see: Jessica Jones or The Dark Knight).

To add to this unusual bundle of traits, Deadpool also has a tendency to break the fourth wall*. The character reveals plot holes, mentions budgets, and talks to the audience in a way that is so unusual, yet so refreshing. We know he's in a movie -- and so does he! (Side note: Deadpool is also notorious for doing this in the comics, if you care to look up some examples.)

Get it?

Honestly, one of the things that makes this movie so successful is that it's completely self-aware. It reacts to stereotypes in superhero tropes, making fun of them while simultaneously admitting that they're pretty f***ing cool. And it has fun. It's like hanging out with your older brother's hilarious, douchebag best friend for an hour and a half. Like, is he pretty gross and lewd? Sure. But is he real as hell and quick with comebacks? Hell yeah. Do you admire him for reasons that you don't understand? Exactly.

9 outa 10. Deadpool is refreshing and completely current for an audience who's tired of tropes.

Side note: ALL of the 90s R&B in this movie alone makes it worth seeing. That is all.

*Oh hey! Welcome to learning more about "breaking the fourth wall." "Breaking the fourth wall" is a term for when characters address an audience, or otherwise allude to the fact that they're in a work of fiction. This happens a lot in theater, when characters ask audience members for advice, or talk to them directly, before retreating back into the world of the work. Click here for examples.

Carol: Not Bad, Even Though It Didn't Win Any Oscars

In a classic Annie J. move of seeing an Oscar film when it's no longer speculative who's going to win which awards (by the way, Mad Max was an amazing film and deserved those 6 Oscars, just sayin), I went and saw Carol this past Sunday.

To be perfectly honest, I would've much rather have seen Room or Spotlight but as I have no access to OnDemand stuff and I hate watching things on my laptop (stared at Room on iTunes for a good 2 minutes before exiting the program) Carol was what I was working with. Also I love Cate Blanchett and the sets and costumes in this looked incredible.

Just look how pretty. LOOK.

Here's our plot:

Therese (Rooney Mara) is just a regular city girl: she works in a department store, she has a boyfriend, and she isn't really anything special. But all of that changes when Carol Aird walks into the toy department where she's working. After asking for Therese's advice on a Christmas gift for her daughter, Carol leaves her gloves on the counter. Womp womp. But Therese tracks down her address and sends them back to her. To say thank you, Carol invites her out to lunch. (This isn't central to the plot but I must make a note of this: they eat poached eggs with creamed spinach -- is that not the most 1950s meal you could ever imagine? Anyway..) Things start to get a little out of the ordinary, though, when Carol keeps on pressing Therese to meet with her -- though Therese is more than happy to oblige. Going to her house, asking if she can go to hers, etc. And they start to get to know each other. The whole time this is happening, Carol is going through a messy divorce with her husband, Harge (Kyle Chandler), who's aware that she's dated women in the past and isn't thrilled about her fling with Therese. The rest of the movie follows the two women as they begin to understand each other and as their romances comes up against the expectations of a 1950s society.

Spoiler alert: 1950s society isn't thrilled.

First of all: this movie is gorgeous. The colors are rich, the setting is spot-on, and the costumes are beautiful. And the whole feel of the movie comes to life under the cinematography of Edward Lachman, who also did The Virgin Suicides and, most noteworthy as of late, HBO's mini-series Mildred Pierce. Under his eye, there's a beautiful mixing of the real-life, wintry and cold-bright New York City and the muted tones of the softly lit interiors where Carol and Therese get to speak to one another one-on-one. Interesting perspectives make this too, as we look out of a foggy window in a cab, hover outside an apartment building as youth party inside, and hear a lot of off-screen dialogue while the camera meanders to show us where it's coming from.

So. Yes. Beautiful.

Where I ran into trouble with this film was in the acting. While Carol seems to be attempting to live her life the way that she wants, and that's reflected very well in Cate Blanchett's portrayal of the character I think, there's a wooden quality to Therese that I had a hard time sympathizing with for most of the movie. While Carol is treading carefully, there's a certainty to her actions that makes them unmistakeable. Therese, however, is more watery, happy to float along in Carol's wake while somewhat lacking in her own personality. As a result, I found their chemistry a little hard to believe. Therese seems entranced by Carol and befuddled by her own actions, like a minnow bewitched by the light of an anglerfish.

Anglerfish. For reference.

I will say, though, that what plays out well is the movie's tone. There is an air of caution to everything that they do, which I think reflects the attitudes of the era pretty well. It isn't an exploitation film that centers on how repressed desire plays out in the bedroom (please see: Blue is the Warmest Color). Rather, it contemplates how cautious 1950s queer women had to have been to make advances towards other women, even when you knew they were interested too. The muted tone here is very well done. I just wish there'd been a little less caution and a little more chemistry. Especially when they're alone. Natural chemistry is finding easy conversation and laughter, and I found that to be absent here.

7.5 outa 10. Long story short: Beautiful movie, but a little self-contained, even for the era that it's presenting to the audience.

Let's see if this trailer is vague enough for you...

The Revenant: If You Like Being Murdered and Getting Stuck in the Plains

Have you ever seen Apocalypto? Did you like it? If so The Revenant may be for you. A movie so intense that murder is one of its low points. I probably don't have to tell you what this is about, but let's get into it.

The year is 1820-something. Hugh Glass and his son, Hawk, are trackers, and part of a fur trapping expedition in the American wilderness. After the company's camp is attacked by native Americans, the remaining men try to make it back to the fort where their company is based. Which works pretty okay-- until Glass gets attacked by a bear. Miraculously, though he survives the attack, he significantly slows down the journey back to the fort. After three men are enlisted to stay behind and care for him, a mistake and betrayal is made and tragedy strikes. Glass is left for dead. There's only one problem -- he's not. The remainder of the film is seeing Glass fight his way back to the fort while touching in on what's happened to the rest of company, the native Americans who first attacked them, and the innumerable other, untrackable people that inhabit the American wilderness.

The main thing that The Revenant does well is to make you stop and think about how incredible it is that anyone survived the West at all. Watching each step that the men make in trying to reach safety is nothing short of miraculous. Never mind Glass cheating death, infection, and a lot of other things, even the men who are in good health have their safety threatened every single day. Between rival fur trappers and the native Americans defending their land, it's a small wonder that anyone would survive and then decide to take up permanent residence there.

The Revenant also does a good job of not playing Good Guy/Bad Guy. Throughout the movie we get to see the perspectives of not only the newly settled Americans, but also the French, and the native tribes who were there before either of them. We also get to see a full spectrum of how easy it would be to become paranoid in those days, and untrusting of the minimal company that surrounded you day-to-day.

"You hear that?"

And now for the not-so-good.

To be honest, this is one of those films that I wish I hadn't heard about. I tried to turn a blind eye to all of the hype that it was getting but heard a few tidbits here and there about the things that the crew had been through in the reach for authenticity. But to be honest, it made the movie incredibly distracting. "Wonder if those shoes are real...Could you really outlive a bear attack like that...Wonder what the rate of infection is for a grizzly attack like this..." and of course "Jeez, wouldn't that kill you?....Wouldn't THAT kill you?...Okay, seriously, how is he not dead yet..."

The other thing that bothered me, and maybe this is just my foolish, outdated desire for everything to be black and white, is that I wasn't vehemently rooting for Glass.

SPOILER ALERT

So for those who have seen the movie, you know that Glass's son is murdered by Fitzgerald. The movie suggests that there is an ulterior motive for this happening. However, I couldn't stop thinking that, when you take into account everything that happens before this, his actions are understandable, though they may be the result of extreme paranoia and racism. It's not as though he was out to murder the kid for sport. Half of his scalp is missing, for God's sake. If we're to notice this, we can then take Fitzgerald to be a die-hard survivalist in a land where there's no honor and no rules. While it is of course despicable to murder another human being, looking at the way these guys live their lives, I would consider a teenager shouting at the top of his lungs to be a huge liability, and especially after seeing 35 of my colleagues murdered I might make an impulse decision as well (okay probably not murder, but who knows, I've never been a white guy in 1820s America before). While Glass's survival is still incredible, it makes the ending scene a little more thought-provoking. Maybe that's why they decided to make Glass shove Fitzgerald downstream in the way that they did.

Anyway.

OK IT'S SAFE

The other thing that has been bugging me is why THIS is being tagged as Leo's Academy Award-winning performance. I would've much rather seen him get nominated for Shutter Island or Inception or a movie where he gets to show a little more depth of emotion and character. Are there scenes in this where he does that? Absolutely. Are they overshadowed by his eating of a raw buffalo liver or whatever? In this critic's eyes, yes. 

7 outa 10. Is The Revenant a good movie? Yes. Was it my kind of movie? Not really. Lack of dialogue and gruesome violence were a turn-off for me -- though it must be said that it's all incredibly well done.

Star Wars: The Force is Waking Up

So first of all: hello again. It's been a while.

Second of all: holy crap, if there was a movie that I needed to write about, this one was it.

In taking in the monumental franchise that is Star Wars, I should lead with the disclaimer that I'm not a Star Wars zealot. My plan was to try and see Star Wars and, if it was sold out, to then check out Sisters. But I will say that in being partially removed from the franchise as a whole (i.e. I had only seen the original 3 movies twice, as well as seeing The Phantom Menace) I was able to watch it a little more objectively.

And it's freakin' incredible.

YE BE WARNED: SPOILERS. SPOILERS EVERYWHERE.

The story kicks off several decades after we last saw our heroes. The Dark Side has been replaced by a neo-regime called the First Order, which is basically the same thing, and the Rebels have been replaced by the Resistance, which is also basically the same thing. The action begins when a member of the Resistance hides a map to Luke Skywalker's location in a droid unit, who is then found by our main character Rey. After a storm trooper (discovering that life in plastic may not be fantastic) deserts the First Order and crashes on her planet, it is up to the two of them to keep the map from reaching the First Order. Along the way, they bump into some old faces, new villains, surprising family ties (again) and a ton of adventure.

And of course weird names. Like Kylo Ren.

There seems to be a consciousness of what was done wrong in the last trio of Star Wars films, or maybe J.J. Abrams just adds in a much-needed new flavor for this series. In this newest version, there is a balance in everything between the new and the nostalgic. The effects are balanced between CGI and practical, appeasing lovers of the originals, without making them look anachronistic. The characters are both new and familiar, introducing us to new heroes while still dipping back to the most beloved parts of the original films (I'm talking about 4-6, obviously). And the overall feel of the movies has been done cleverly as well: being humorous in a way that is very current while still keeping in mind the lore of the series itself (please see: storm troopers have not improved their aim).

And these two together have a great chemistry!

Honestly, while I'm not going to launch into another diatribe about how movies now like to be annoyingly long, I was pleasantly surprised about how quickly this film moves. There is not a moment wasted on long shots or on anything else that is stylistically "cutting-edge" without adding anything to the plot. The story propels itself forward and the actors in the cast are so marvelous in their roles that two hours and change flew by without me even noticing.

While it must be said that the balance that Lucas finds in this film relies heavily on the fact that a lot of the material is recycled, it's enough at this point to have new characters, however similar their struggles may be to their predecessors.

9.5 outa 10. The effects, acting, story, and everything else were perfect. Check it out.

(As if you haven't seen this, but here you go:)

Crimson Peak: Beware It or Something

I've got to say, Guillermo can nab me on style every time, and his narratives are interesting, but this one fell a little flat.

Beware this place, apparently.

It all starts with Edith being haunted by the ghost of her dead mother, who warns her to "beware of Crimson Peak" when she is only a child. Fast forward a couple years and Edith grows up to become a headstrong woman trying to become a writer, a fact that becomes totally irrelevant to the plot when she meets Baronet Thomas Sharpe. They meet after Sharpe botches a meeting with Edith's father, a rich man who isn't interested in Sharpe's noble status or his made-up contraption for digging clay out of the Sharpe family's grounds. Edith falls in love with Sharpe and, after a series of strange, unfortunate events, agrees to marry him. When she arrives at his mansion, however, things start to become more sinister. Sharpe's sister, Lucille, is always acting like a weirdo, refusing to give Edith keys, acting standoffish, and always making her this gross tea. As Edith encounters the house's ghosts, we learn that Crimson Peak (a nickname for the manor, she learns once she's arrived) is home to some nasty secrets.

Here's what I liked:

Again, Guillermo doesn't not mess around when it comes to aesthetics. Between sets and costumes, the movie is nothing if not lush. Bright colors and beautiful fabrics dominate the entire screen, and even distracts a little from the story itself.

Look at those sleeves. Look at that collar. Good god.

The second thing I liked was the way he did the ghosts. I don't know how he gets away with it, but Guillermo del Toro is one of the rare people who can actually show you the true form of the monster hiding in the dark and still have you effectively scared. It's hard to evoke horror in plain sight, but he does it extremely well. The ghosts are grisly and scary without trying to look overly realistic and the mystical realism there works.

Here's where we had some problems:

The plot gets twisted up in itself a little too much from the get-go and leaves no room for the element of surprise. The movie announces to the audience that the Sharpes are suspicious folk right off the bat with phrases like "There's something funny about those two," baiting you. Which is actually kind of a shame, because without voicing concerns about the Sharpes' characters, things would be much more interesting. Instead of holding suspense and leading us to make our own assumptions about the character of these nobles, we're instead made to wait until the end like impatient kids at Christmas. We don't know what is it that they are doing nor why they are doing it but we know damn well that SOMEthing fishy is going on. Why dangle the surprise in front of our faces? Because of this, a plot twist that may have hit the audience with a bang instead deflates with a lame pffffttt. Additionally, Guillermo decides to stack on ANOTHER surprise because apparently one isn't enough, but it ends up reading as an afterthought.

Lucille, looking very suspicious.

6.5 outa 10. Long story short: Crimson Peak is a gorgeous-looking film full of jumps and scares, but a plodding narrative keeps the movie from reaching its potential.

Suffragette: Tough Watch but Worth It

To be perfectly honest, when I walked into the theater I knew this would be an emotional one but worth it. And I was right.

The movie takes place in 1912, when British women's voices are only just starting to be heard regarding the right to vote. Our story centers on Maude Watts (Carey Mulligan), a respectable middle-class woman, married with a young son, who works in a laundry. Maude's intial interest in the suffragette movement is minimal, but she finds herself being swept into the movement faster than she can imagine. In an age where women have to fight so hard to be taken seriously that they have to resort to destruction of property, how far will they have to go before their voices are heard?

Also look how bad-ass this poster is though, right?

Cinematically speaking, Suffragette was a fantastic watch for a piece of this usually-predictable genre. It's an interesting genre, reading almost more like a political thriller than a stereotypically emotional biopic. That isn't to say that it's not both, but I was suprised at the actions that they put into play, the conditions in the prisons at that time, the perspective of their neighborhood, and a dozen other things that almost made it feel more like an espionage movie than you would think for a movie that takes place in 1912.

In a sense, this movie hits uncomfortably close to home. I feel like it's less rare to find movies of this caliber when talking about developing nations, or about historical events so far behind us that it's hard to take them seriously. The disturbing thing about Suffragette is how this violent fight for women's rights wasn't that long ago.

This is a film that will have you internally screaming at the backwards minds of the greater population at the time. There are too many scenes of women being silenced by men who view them as lesser beings, or who view themselves as being custodial over women in general -- even the ones that they love. The unfairness of it all is enough to make you want to tear your hair out at certain moments, but also has you rooting so hard for Maude to succeed with spreading the women's message, to make it all worthwhile.

That being said, Suffragette serves as a reminder of the power of numbers. Maude says at a crucial moment, "Women represent half of the population, you can't silence all of us." And she's totally right. Especially today, with the technology at our disposal, one can only hope that movements, like the feminist one and others, can gain the effectiveness of organizations back then, who had to rely on eye-grabbing tactics more effective than Facebook Likes.

My girl Maude got arrested like 5 times.

Not like I'm encouraging people to run around blowing up mailboxes. I think to infer that violence is the answer is to misunderstand the larger message of the film. But if there's one message that Suffragette has for women, and for people in general who have a cause, it's to stand up for what you want. If it's for the greater good, you'll find a following. And if you really believe in it, you have to be willing to fight for it.

8 outa 10. Well made, effective, emotional, and moved quickly. Excellent.