The Revenant: If You Like Being Murdered and Getting Stuck in the Plains

Have you ever seen Apocalypto? Did you like it? If so The Revenant may be for you. A movie so intense that murder is one of its low points. I probably don't have to tell you what this is about, but let's get into it.

The year is 1820-something. Hugh Glass and his son, Hawk, are trackers, and part of a fur trapping expedition in the American wilderness. After the company's camp is attacked by native Americans, the remaining men try to make it back to the fort where their company is based. Which works pretty okay-- until Glass gets attacked by a bear. Miraculously, though he survives the attack, he significantly slows down the journey back to the fort. After three men are enlisted to stay behind and care for him, a mistake and betrayal is made and tragedy strikes. Glass is left for dead. There's only one problem -- he's not. The remainder of the film is seeing Glass fight his way back to the fort while touching in on what's happened to the rest of company, the native Americans who first attacked them, and the innumerable other, untrackable people that inhabit the American wilderness.

The main thing that The Revenant does well is to make you stop and think about how incredible it is that anyone survived the West at all. Watching each step that the men make in trying to reach safety is nothing short of miraculous. Never mind Glass cheating death, infection, and a lot of other things, even the men who are in good health have their safety threatened every single day. Between rival fur trappers and the native Americans defending their land, it's a small wonder that anyone would survive and then decide to take up permanent residence there.

The Revenant also does a good job of not playing Good Guy/Bad Guy. Throughout the movie we get to see the perspectives of not only the newly settled Americans, but also the French, and the native tribes who were there before either of them. We also get to see a full spectrum of how easy it would be to become paranoid in those days, and untrusting of the minimal company that surrounded you day-to-day.

"You hear that?"

And now for the not-so-good.

To be honest, this is one of those films that I wish I hadn't heard about. I tried to turn a blind eye to all of the hype that it was getting but heard a few tidbits here and there about the things that the crew had been through in the reach for authenticity. But to be honest, it made the movie incredibly distracting. "Wonder if those shoes are real...Could you really outlive a bear attack like that...Wonder what the rate of infection is for a grizzly attack like this..." and of course "Jeez, wouldn't that kill you?....Wouldn't THAT kill you?...Okay, seriously, how is he not dead yet..."

The other thing that bothered me, and maybe this is just my foolish, outdated desire for everything to be black and white, is that I wasn't vehemently rooting for Glass.

SPOILER ALERT

So for those who have seen the movie, you know that Glass's son is murdered by Fitzgerald. The movie suggests that there is an ulterior motive for this happening. However, I couldn't stop thinking that, when you take into account everything that happens before this, his actions are understandable, though they may be the result of extreme paranoia and racism. It's not as though he was out to murder the kid for sport. Half of his scalp is missing, for God's sake. If we're to notice this, we can then take Fitzgerald to be a die-hard survivalist in a land where there's no honor and no rules. While it is of course despicable to murder another human being, looking at the way these guys live their lives, I would consider a teenager shouting at the top of his lungs to be a huge liability, and especially after seeing 35 of my colleagues murdered I might make an impulse decision as well (okay probably not murder, but who knows, I've never been a white guy in 1820s America before). While Glass's survival is still incredible, it makes the ending scene a little more thought-provoking. Maybe that's why they decided to make Glass shove Fitzgerald downstream in the way that they did.

Anyway.

OK IT'S SAFE

The other thing that has been bugging me is why THIS is being tagged as Leo's Academy Award-winning performance. I would've much rather seen him get nominated for Shutter Island or Inception or a movie where he gets to show a little more depth of emotion and character. Are there scenes in this where he does that? Absolutely. Are they overshadowed by his eating of a raw buffalo liver or whatever? In this critic's eyes, yes. 

7 outa 10. Is The Revenant a good movie? Yes. Was it my kind of movie? Not really. Lack of dialogue and gruesome violence were a turn-off for me -- though it must be said that it's all incredibly well done.

Django Unchained: Yes, Please, More, Thanks.

Woah. And yes. And yes please. And awesome. And YES. Holy crap, Django is almost too awesome for words. Normally, I'm not a huge Tarantino fan, but it's impossible not to like this movie. While it's incredibly gritty (Tarantino, duh) the subject matter and the satisfaction of revenge in this movie are spot-on. How could anyone not like a movie in which a bad-ass ex-slave takes revenge on a ton of white people? YES. I haven't seen a movie that has been this adrenaline-filled since...I don't even know!

Anyway, storyline:

Django (Jamie Foxx) is a slave in transit to be sold when he is apprehended by a friendly German bounty hunter named Dr. Schultz (Christoph Waltz). Dr. Schultz originally takes him on to identify 3 bandits that he is after, but before long Django shows his own skills at bounty hunting and the two of them not only create the best bounty hunting duo in the South, but embark on an adventure to save Django's beautiful wife named, believe it or not, Broom Hilde (also referred to as Hildy). Searching the dirtiest of the Mississippi slave trade auction records, they find that she has been sold to a Mr. Candie (Leo DiCaprio) and now lives on his plantation, Candie Land.

Bounty hunting = the best activity for making friends

With extremely brutal scenes that hark back the horrors of slavery and callousness, Tarantino somehow manages to touch on this sensitive subject matter by incorporating the melodramatic style of the 1960's spaghetti western*. Don't get me wrong, though. The vibrant colors and excessive bloodshed from this genre don't exacerbate the content, but rather reinforce it. In trying to express this era of inhumanity, Tarantino seems to understand that there is no such thing as over-dramatizing. During a time when people were viewed as literal property, it isn't surprising to see one man eaten by dogs (though it's largely off-screen), people branded with an "r" for "runaway" right on the face, and men being ordered to fight each other to the death for mere sport.

And Candie doesn't exactly encourage civility...

But because of this brutality, the comeuppance that each of these horrible white people receives is more than wholly satisfying. You feel the anger that Django feels as he's forced to watch all of these things happen, and as he experiences them personally as well. This makes the bloodbath all the more gratifying, as not more than one innocent person dies. Literally.

Aaaand karma's a bitch.

In classic Tarantino style, though, there is humor along with these horrifying images. In a particular scene, he somehow (incredibly) makes the KKK hilarious, none of them being able to see out of their newly-made hoods, as they try to unsuccessfully ambush Django and Dr. Shultz. Tarantino's timing is also impeccable. Despite the heavy, heavy content, there is always a line delivered by someone that creates a levity and a chuckle, making it easier to watch.

There's nothing funny about murder...

...unless it's in a costume like this...

Even the soundtrack is KICKASS. Blending old bluesy country like Johnny Cash with psychedelic songs and even big band soul tunes from the 70's, the music works in every single scene and keeps the plot from being a sob story. It also makes Django look like a certified BAMF.

Honestly, I didn't expect to love this movie because I thought it would be too intense for me (and honestly, some parts were difficult), but the payoff that you get at the end, and the delight I took in watching the playful cinematography in this, made watching the whole thing worthwhile. I sincerely hope that there were many freemen like Django in the Antebellum South.

9.5 outa 10. All around fantastic.

*So you wanted to learn about spaghetti westerns! Good for you my little munchkin! Here is the definition as described by Wikipedia:

Spaghetti Western is a nickname for a broad sub-genre of Western films that emerged in the mid-1960s in the wake of Sergio Leone's film-making style and international box-office success. It was used by critics in USA and other countries because most of these Westerns were produced and directed by Italians. According to actor Aldo Sambrell, the phrase 'Spaghetti Western' was originally created by Italian journalist Alfonso Sancha^[1] In the beginning the term was used in a derogatory sense, but over time it has become accepted as descriptive. 

In addition to what the all-wise Wikipedia has said, I would also that spaghetti westerns are a little over-the-top. Most of them had an extremely dramatic love story, really graphic violence, and a lot of times had to be dubbed over in English. Movies like The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly and the original film Django are considered to be spaghetti westerns.

The Greatest Gatsby

Holy crap. How did I not know about this months ago? One of my favorite directors, the almighty Baz Luhrmann, the King of Fast Editing, the creative genius behind Moulin Rouge and Romeo + Juliet, and The Man in general, is directing the American classic novel The Great Gatsby.


Oh.

My.

God.

Yes. Please.

I am going to find any way that I can to be at the first showing for this one. It's been about five years since Luhrmann last came out with a film and that was the underwhelming Australia, which was a cross between Dances With Wolves and Out of Africa. Shmeh. Not my cup of tea. But I'm excited to see how he pulls together this stylish drama because unfortunately the only other film version features Mia Farrow who I hate.

You look like a mouse.

Watch the trailer and get as stoked as I am what what!!