Le Hobbit: Le Unexpected Journey

Well, my children, after the insane-o crazy December work frenzy, I have finally found the time to chronicle and dissect my latest cinema visit, which was spent seeing The Hobbit. I was pretty excited to see this for a multitude of reasons:

A. I had been nerding out hardcore with my boyfriend/Tolkien guide, Sir Nicholas, and watching all of the Lord of the Rings films for most of early December (when I wasn't watching Muppet Christmas Carol anyway). With his help I went from understanding about 42% of what was going on to understanding an astounding 79%, making the films much more sensical and interesting.

I mean it could be a holiday movie...

B. I love Martin Freeman. If you didn't notice him in either Love, Actually or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, watch them again. Do it.

So cute!

C. Peter Jackson is a beast. Like actually insane.

Normal, perfectly normal...

D. The dwarves looked funny and entertaining :)

And their creative braids will surely affect

the latest fashion trends.

The movie starts out a few hours (or perhaps days) before the events that pass in the beginning of The Fellowship of the Ring. Thinking about leaving The Shire in the immediate future, he sets down to write about his first adventure with a group of dwarves and Gandalf the Gray.

We are given the back story of the dwarves existence in Middle Earth. They lived in a mountain and crafted beautiful works to be sold at a market that sat adjacent to the mountainside. But one day a dragon came and invaded their home, shacking up at the king's own treasure room (dragons have a thing for gold, if you're not familiar with your mythical creatures) and leaving the dwarves to live out their existence as nomads. This is where the quest comes in.

Ah, nothing like a good quest.

After years of trying to rough it living among men and in small groups, a small group of dwarves has decided, with the help of Gandalf, to storm the castle and try to take back what is their homeland. To help them, Gandalf enlists Bilbo as their "burglar" as he is tiny and light on his feet. Despite the skepticism of the dwarves, he joins them on their journey the following day. The events that follow include a few run-ins with orcs, a visit to the Elves's Rivendell village, an escapade with trolls, and a battle royale with an underground goblin village, where Bilbo gets the legendary ring.

Not that ring...

So I had read the book The Hobbit when I was about 16 years old, I think, and could only remember about half of the plot, but it wasn't a horrible hinderance when it came to watching this film. In fact, Crazy Jackson decided to expound upon the original story of The Hobbit and give it some meat from Tolkien's Appendix so that it could be divvied up into not only one movie, but two (in this case, my normal annoyance with open endings and leeway for sequels shall stand aside, because I'm actually glad he's doing so much justice to the book and more). That being said, there's so much that happens in this film I'm glad he took the time to get to it all.

The cinematography is beautiful, and it's no question that Jackson has a veritable genius when it comes to bringing to life the wonders of this foreign Middle Earth. The perspective on all of the assorted creatures is impeccable, and the detail that goes into each of their faces, from the stout and large-nosed dwarves to the hideously creepy Gollum, is frighteningly realistic. I would definitely recommend seeing this film in the 3D version, especially the version with the more frames per minute because it's gorgeous.

I don't know if it's the advanced technology or the

fact that he's in the dark, but he seems a lot creepier now...

A word of warning, though: I would hesitate to bring small children to this. Being more beefed up than the original book, the film has some more serious fodder to it than you might think, and hints often to the upcoming war and tragedy that we see in the Lord of the Rings movies. And though the dwarves are pretty funny, they are set against hideous and scary creatures like goblins, orks, trolls, and the (once again) frighteningly creepy Gollum. If you have a stoic kid, go for it, otherwise I would air on the side of caution.

9 outa 10 stars. I wish it had been a little shorter :X

From the People that Brought You Wallace and Gromit: Pirates! Band of Misfits

With my work schedule going from essentially 2 PM until 7 PM, it's kind of hard for me to get the initiative to go to the movies these days unless I'm going on a Saturday. However, today I decided (as I sometimes randomly do) to check the movie screenings for a short matinee preferably occurring before noon. Well, as luck would have it, one of the movies that I have been dying to see was showing at 12:00 and was only about an hour and a half long. Yes, dear friends. The film was Pirates!: Band of Misfits.

Not those kinds of Misfits...

Despite seeing quite a few trailers for this movie, I feel like it never really caught the public's eye. Which is too bad because it's amazing.

For those of you out there who are (like me) huge fans of the Wallace and Gromit movies, this movie will give you your claymation fix. Nick Park creates characters that are both incredibly sympathetic and yet will have you smacking your hand to your forehead for about a third of the running time. Yet somehow, in the way of the Wallace and Gromit series, this combination works incredibly well. And although the main protagonist has the heart of a lion and the brain of a bird, he is balanced out with the overcompensated secondary character.

Can you guess who's who?

But anyway, to get into what the actual movie is about, I'll give you one guess. (If you guessed "pirates" you were correct. Mostly.) The "band of misfits" is quite a motley crew, boasting pirates that don't even have real names, including: Albino Pirate, Pirate with Gout, Pirate With a Scarf (a.k.a. #2), and Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate (who, it's hinted throughout the movie, is a woman disguised as a man).

Who needs real-people names?

 Around the time of the notorious Pirate of the Year awards, it looks as though Pirate Captain is going to be outdone again by his peers. And yet, after attempting to pillage the ship of a certain Charles Darwin and finding a rare bird on board, things seem to be looking up. But Charles may be a little bit more shifty in this film (no relation to Creationism, kids, calm down) than the audience may first suspect. And in line with Darwin is the terrifying Queen Victoria, who has a decidedly more sinister air to her in this film.

See?

The film is adorable. I was literally sitting in the theater by myself guffawing like an idiot (act surprised). There are bit jokes and jokes that run the length of the film. And quite honestly, even though I'm a hopeless fan of children's movies, I would recommend this movie to any of my friends. Seriously. It's a short running time, has a cute message, voices by some of Britain's biggest stars (including hugh Grant, Martin Freeman, Imelda Staunton, David Tennant, and Brendan Gleeson), and really, the artistry in it is incredible. I don't know why more people don't do claymation, but the results are 3D with cartoon simplicity, and texture and realistic movement with subjects that are very clearly unreal. Even if you can't check out Band of Misfits, have a look at some of my other favorite claymation masterpieces, which include: Coraline, Wallace and Gromit: The Wrong Trousers, Wallace and Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death, Mary and Max (a bit more mature fodder), and Corpse Bride.

9 outa 10. Funny stuff.