Well this past weekend marked my first ever trip to our
northern neighbors for the annual Ottawa International Animation Festival.
Oh. Canada.
I don’t know what exactly I was expecting. Going to the New
York Film Festival last year opened a thrilling new world of brand new
yet-to-be-seen exclusive films, but in hindsight, I wasn’t really that invested
in exploring NYC itself. I mean, there isn’t a ton to do Uptown. (Seriously, I
was hard-pressed to find a restaurant within, like, five blocks of the Lincoln
Center.) But I, ever the optimist, decided “Y’know what, let’s think outside
the box here. Let’s check out a different film festival.” Thinking that I was
signing up for a weekend of funtimes in Canada, this year’s Ottawa International
Animation Festival, held in Ottawa, Ontario. Interestingly enough, it was not
quite the same experience that I had in NYC.
Now, this is not the festival’s fault. All of the screenings
that I saw were amazing. It’s so hard to find new and different animated films
that aren’t just made for kids. Even animated films that are made for kids can sometimes be a bit bland or just
cookie-cutter. And the films that were screened were seriously anything but
(we’ll get to those in the next few posts).
However, by and large, I would like to warn those looking
into going next year. Or looking into going to Ottawa. Or looking into going to
Canada in general.
First of all, you’re in Canada.
Now, I know what you’re thinking (those of you with
consciences): “Canada can’t be all that bad! Really, they’re not very different
from us Americans!” And my sweet, beloved little baby optimists, I thought that
same thing. But I was unfortunately proven…wrong? Well, not wrong wrong… It’s hard to explain.
Really, Canadians aren’t a ton different than Americans…that you’d find in the
Midwest. The hilarious thing that struck me about Canadian culture is its lack
thereof. Now, to be fair, we were situated in Ottawa, which (as it turns out)
is the entire nation’s capital, so there was a palpable blend of different
cultures everywhere. But, that being said…we
were in the nation’s capital. This place should’ve been a hub of excitement
and action. I mean, I wasn’t asking for a Washington DC or anything, but what
you get in Ottawa is basically the equivalent of a glorified suburb. Or
something like Puerto Rico. A mixture of different languages, a smattering of
restaurants that serve generic staples like burgers and poutine, and a metric
ton of retail stores. And—here’s the weird part—nothing is ever crowded. Josh and I wandered around in
search of a dive bar the first night that we arrived and not only couldn’t find
a regular ole bar; couldn’t find even one of the fifteen existent sports bars
that was actually full.
The problem that I had with Ottawa is that it didn’t really
seem to have any actual flavor to it. It’s like someone woke up one day and
thought “Huh. We’re actually the capital of the country. Maybe we should have
stuff to do here.” And, after consulting with some people that hailed from
cities like Cleveland or St. Louis, plopped down some high-rise buildings and some
shops and said “Does this look good?” and they were distractedly like
“Yeah…that looks right…”
True photo.
Secondly, you are far away from everything.
While I have come to learn that that is somewhat the norm up
in the northern country, I still can’t quite get over how freaking far apart
everything is. Ottawa is a city that is, by and large, unto itself. It would be
like the equivalent of the US sticking our nation’s capital in the middle of
rural PA. Also, it took us a seven-hour drive to get there. And we were
driving…pretty fast (don’t want to get implicated in any kind of legality here,
but I’m pretty sure we only drove the actual speed limit about twice). I’m
pretty sure that this description gives you an accurate idea of what the cultural
scope is here.
Everything is bigger in Ontario. (Well...more spread out...)
And lastly, if you are from the United States, your
smartphone is not going to work up there.
This seems trivial, I know. However, when you have booked
half of your tickets online in advance (planner that you are), it’s going to be
a real bummer when you have to launch into an explanation with these benevolent
Canadians about how your phone contains the information that they need but you
literally cannot access it until Wi-Fi becomes a universal thing. It is also
not awesome when you are 7 hours into your road trip and your GPS app decides
it has had enough, dammit, and that it’ll see you back in rural NY where it is
appreciated. And you have to stop for directions. And you get lost on the way
home for half an hour.
Basically, if you’re thinking of going up to Ye Olde Ottawa
Film Fest next year ye be warned:
1.
Book a hotel that is close to all of the movie
theaters. That way we you capitalize on screen time and spend as little time
taking in the sights as possible.
2.
Fly. Don’t drive. I know that driving sounds
cheaper, and it is, but you will want to stop driving and just set up house in
the middle of one of the 800,000 fields that you will pass on the way. Because
you will feel like you’re never going to get home.
3.
Plan on not having a working iPhone. Because
then you will have researched all of the good screenings, interesting
restaurants, and points of interest without having to aimlessly wander around.
4.
Also, pack an umbrella. It rained for half of
the time we were there.
SO! Now that THAT rant is out of the way, let us make way
for some reviews. After all, this blog is a prestigious film review source,
dammit. And the movies that we got to see were actually pretty interesting (if
not all wonderful).
No comments:
Post a Comment