Magic Mike XXL: This Time Strippers Are Just Strippers

Before we dive into this review, before y'all put on your Judgement Glasses, let it just be known that I saw this movie for free and had I not been invited to go see it with a colleague, I'd probably just wait to watch it on my parents' cable at 3am like any self-respecting human being.

Okay, let's do this.

Magic Mike (Channing Tatum) has made his original dream of designing furniture (don't act like you haven't seen the first one) into a reality. Making custom pieces and selling it has become his new employment and his days of stripping are over. Until he receives a phone call from some of his old buddies who are still in "the business." Heading down to Myrtle Beach (of all places??) for the year's national Stripper Convention (I sincerely hope that this is a real thing), Mike decides to make one last hurrah for all of stripperdom.

This poster kind of says it all, doesn't it?

-Sigh-.

Where...to start....

So...the interesting thing about this round of gratuitous six-packed men parading around with their six packs grinding on things and showing off their six packs, is that they don't even have to pretend that there's a message in this movie.

Except six packs. 

Six packs are a very important part of the message of XXL

I actually genuinely liked Magic Mike, the original, because it had something to say about being in a shitty industry and wanting to get out of it. The stripper part was shoved in our faces, sure, but there was also a lot of exposure--pun only partially intended--of what this kind of an industry can do to you (spoiler alert: bad things). Magic Mike also took pains to have a soul, featuring a sweet romance and letting Channing Tatum show off the adorable awkward-in-love acting chops that all of us ladies melt over.

XXL by contrast owns up to it's commercial, excessive name. Instead of focusing on Mike's actual life, we get to watch as he powers up for one last strippery party of drinking, drugs, nudity, and general debauchery.

Instead of reading like Magic Mike's cautionary tale of what not to get wrapped up in, Magic Mike XXL hits you like a drug and alchohol-fueled night out with a surprising lack of consequences.

The one thing that I did find hilarious about XXL is that it makes a lame attempt at giving these guys the chance to express their dreams for after they're done stripping. But--get this--the way that they express these dreams is through (drum roll): stripping. The huge finale gives these guys the chance to strip in acts that feature their coveted futures.

Spoiler alert: not actual wedding.

This isn't to say that Magic Mike XXL isn't a good time. While I hit my limit at watching these guys grind into women's ecstatic faces (I really don't get it.) there are plenty of laughs and plenty of glorious male eye candy to keep you entertained for the full 2 hours.

Which, let's be real, is probably why people went to go see the original one.

All in all, XXL lives up to its name. Hope you're into well-defined abs and Channing Tatum dance routines.

Reasons to watch:
1. Channing Tatum's dance to "Pony"
2. Channing Tatum's dance at the end
3. Channing Tatum's dance in Atlanta
4. Channing Tatum.

Sorry, not sorry.

5 outa 10. I could do without the male thongs.

I'm embarrassed to show this trailer. But, here you go: